am i right or am i right?

so much angst in the world today. not that this is different from any other time...

in light of the troubles with the LDS church and the issues of homosexuality, i've found myself getting caught up in the negativity that is being spewed from both sides.

i've come to the conclusion (with the help of an excellent email conversation with one of my bff's) that this problem really isn't even about being gay or mormon. or being a gay mormon.

my observations is that it's about the need to be right.

the funny thing is, is that both sides are right. if i believe something, then it makes it true to me. so i'm right, right? if you believe something, then that makes this true for you, which in turn makes you right as well. right? if our perception is our reality, then there is no "wrong". there is just "different." there is your truth, my truth, his truth, her truth, along with the other billions of people on the planet. all are right. wrong doesn't exist.

i've fallen into that trap so many times. it's easy to do when you feel so strongly about something. it's easy to send a mean email, or leave a heated voicemail message, or stage a protest when we feel as though we're not being heard. we get offended (due to having our feelings hurt) and react rather than meeting our feelings with understanding. choosing our words and actions a little more carefully and with a touch more thoughtfulness could really alleviate some the issues of today (and yesterday. as i've also discovered, most men still believe it's 1950 and they get to call me sweetheart and stare at my chest).

takes me back to the 4 agreements.
be impeccable with your word. tell the truth and be kind about it.

don't take anything personally. nothing that is going on with others is about you.

don't make assumptions: always, ALWAYS get more information. how many times have i said something without knowing everything and then i look like an idiot? more than i care to admit....

always do your best. just keep trying.

and then the new 5th agreement, which happens to be the one i think we struggle with the most:

be skeptical of everything but learn to listen. keep in mind, that being skeptical does not mean that you don't give anything a chance. my interpretation of that is to mindful that there may be a different way of approaching an idea or a problem. and learning to listen, i think speaks for itself.

and it just so happens, that this was don miguel's quote for today, 10/7/10:
Everything I believe about myself is just a story. In my story, everything is about me, and it has to be that way because I am the center of my perception. The story is told from my point of view.~don Miguel Ruiz

what a cool statement. i see everything from my own eyes, i have no way of seeing what others see. so how presumptuous is it of me to assume that i know what others think or feel? or need for that matter? i'm especially relieved when i remember that i am only responsible for myself. along with learning to listen, this is important to remember particularly when you're dealing with those who believe differently.

with regards to the church/homosexuality debate, i certainly have my own opinions. mainly, let people enjoy their civil liberties, deal with their own "eternal salvation," and support every human in his/her own pursuit of happiness. you didn't think that you'd get through a whole post without me stating my opinion, did you? ha!

but i know that people don't agree with me. this is fine. but do we have to be so mean and hateful when expressing our beliefs/opinions? i talk for a living, i know that there are a million different ways of presenting one piece of information. i think these different points of view can exist while we all live peacefully together. not just in regards to homosexuality and religion, but with everything.

but when will people choose to do this?

you can find lots of 'feel good' stuff on don miguel ruiz's website. i highly suggest that everyone check it out. i certainly like to feel good! :)

sendin' love.