thank you for all effortless resolution and understanding. i really appreciate it. :)
love,
kami
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
happy thanksgiving!
thanks giving. giving thanks.
i love this day. i love the food, i LOVE my family, and it reminds me of when i was little.
getting over the whole fact that we stole this country from the people that were already here, the spirit of thanksgiving remains the same.
simple be grateful for what you already have instead of pining over the things you don't.
easier said than done i'd say.
i learned a great lesson from a guy i used to work with. i was feeling upset for some reason and instead of telling me how to fix the problem (which probably didn't have a solution anyways) he said, "get grateful."
i thought, "that is NOT helpful."
however, after careful consideration, it became one of the most helpful pieces of advice that i've ever been given.
the reason is that the second that i find something to be grateful for, i pull myself out of the negativity that i'm swimming in. it's like magic.
there are times when it's harder to do, but it always works. it's one of the most tried and true tricks i know. i can't take credit for it, and he can't either because someone told him but it's worth spreading the word.
"get grateful."
we should do that today, seeing as it's thanksgiving and all. :)
i love this day. i love the food, i LOVE my family, and it reminds me of when i was little.
getting over the whole fact that we stole this country from the people that were already here, the spirit of thanksgiving remains the same.
simple be grateful for what you already have instead of pining over the things you don't.
easier said than done i'd say.
i learned a great lesson from a guy i used to work with. i was feeling upset for some reason and instead of telling me how to fix the problem (which probably didn't have a solution anyways) he said, "get grateful."
i thought, "that is NOT helpful."
however, after careful consideration, it became one of the most helpful pieces of advice that i've ever been given.
the reason is that the second that i find something to be grateful for, i pull myself out of the negativity that i'm swimming in. it's like magic.
there are times when it's harder to do, but it always works. it's one of the most tried and true tricks i know. i can't take credit for it, and he can't either because someone told him but it's worth spreading the word.
"get grateful."
we should do that today, seeing as it's thanksgiving and all. :)
Monday, November 22, 2010
a dose of reality
don't get me wrong. i really do truly believe in the law of attraction and the power of the university.
it's just that sometimes when i read what i write on here i want to throw up a little in my mouth.
i don't know how i became this touchy-feely feel good positive thinker, because it sure isn't all the time. there are times when i read what i wrote and wonder who actually wrote it...
it takes a lot of work and conscious effort for me to stay positive. so many clients have said "this stuff must come so easy for you."
*shifty eyes* haha, yeah....surrrre. but really, i'm just tryin' to figure this shiz out like everyone else.
i'm a good faker. i really have to work at it. i'd venture that a lot of us (therapists or not) really have a hard time practicing what we preach. i may have just blown every therapist's cover, but really? let's get real. as humans (living in the US) we're trained to be negative. even if it doesn't come from immediate family, it comes from somewhere else. it's so easy to fall into that trap. i do almost daily.
this negativity and skepticism mostly comes out in my thoughts and feelings. i'm not actually mean to people. not intentionally, anyways. how sad is it that it's become second nature? back to the committed effort, where i have to remind myself that not everyone is out to get me and that most people are basically good and are just doing the best that they can with what they have.
blah blah blah. sometimes i want to kick my own bum for spewing the "therapeutic" rhetoric that we're all so used to hearing. sometimes it sounds so empty.
stay positive.
be positive.
feel positive.
gag me.
i want to tell people to take their positivity and shove it. i want to roll my eyes and tell the person in front of me that i'm full of crap and not to listen to a word that i'm saying. i wouldn't. in their heads they're probably thinking, "really? just be positive? thank you so much for that brand new information, i can't believe i didn't think of that before. this must be why they pay you the big bucks!" then i imagine that they are thinking about punching me in the face. which is what i want to do when someone tells me something i already know. *
in spite of the irritation, my training tells me that this stuff works. i have seen it. as hokey and feel-goody as it sounds, it really does. but sometimes i'm completely offended by it's simplicity.
feel good now?
done and done.
yeah, i'll get right on that.
i suppose there must be some balance between the two. feel whatever you're feeling and move forward. perhaps what the university should say is be honest, but don't dwell. i certainly don't posses the ability (nor the desire) to be happy all the time. that isn't real. those who tell you that they're happy all the time are lying. i do think someone can feel happy throughout every day, but i really don't think that it's constant. even at my saddest i can find joy. at my happiest, i can feel disappointment.**
what would i tell a client? i would say that sometimes things suck and that there's nothing wrong with that. just because we don't feel good doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong. if something has happened (death, divorce, assault, other kinds of trauma), then you will deal with it in time. all that jazz (this is the short short version, but you get the idea).
feelings. yeah, i hate those buggers as much as the next person but they will pass. nothing, good or bad, is permanent.
obviously, simple does not equate easy. i really wish it did.
*i just want you all to know that when i give advice, i know how it can sound. believe me, i'm irritated too.
**if you are happy all the time, please tell me what medication you're on....
it's just that sometimes when i read what i write on here i want to throw up a little in my mouth.
i don't know how i became this touchy-feely feel good positive thinker, because it sure isn't all the time. there are times when i read what i wrote and wonder who actually wrote it...
it takes a lot of work and conscious effort for me to stay positive. so many clients have said "this stuff must come so easy for you."
*shifty eyes* haha, yeah....surrrre. but really, i'm just tryin' to figure this shiz out like everyone else.
i'm a good faker. i really have to work at it. i'd venture that a lot of us (therapists or not) really have a hard time practicing what we preach. i may have just blown every therapist's cover, but really? let's get real. as humans (living in the US) we're trained to be negative. even if it doesn't come from immediate family, it comes from somewhere else. it's so easy to fall into that trap. i do almost daily.
this negativity and skepticism mostly comes out in my thoughts and feelings. i'm not actually mean to people. not intentionally, anyways. how sad is it that it's become second nature? back to the committed effort, where i have to remind myself that not everyone is out to get me and that most people are basically good and are just doing the best that they can with what they have.
blah blah blah. sometimes i want to kick my own bum for spewing the "therapeutic" rhetoric that we're all so used to hearing. sometimes it sounds so empty.
stay positive.
be positive.
feel positive.
gag me.
i want to tell people to take their positivity and shove it. i want to roll my eyes and tell the person in front of me that i'm full of crap and not to listen to a word that i'm saying. i wouldn't. in their heads they're probably thinking, "really? just be positive? thank you so much for that brand new information, i can't believe i didn't think of that before. this must be why they pay you the big bucks!" then i imagine that they are thinking about punching me in the face. which is what i want to do when someone tells me something i already know. *
in spite of the irritation, my training tells me that this stuff works. i have seen it. as hokey and feel-goody as it sounds, it really does. but sometimes i'm completely offended by it's simplicity.
feel good now?
done and done.
yeah, i'll get right on that.
i suppose there must be some balance between the two. feel whatever you're feeling and move forward. perhaps what the university should say is be honest, but don't dwell. i certainly don't posses the ability (nor the desire) to be happy all the time. that isn't real. those who tell you that they're happy all the time are lying. i do think someone can feel happy throughout every day, but i really don't think that it's constant. even at my saddest i can find joy. at my happiest, i can feel disappointment.**
what would i tell a client? i would say that sometimes things suck and that there's nothing wrong with that. just because we don't feel good doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong. if something has happened (death, divorce, assault, other kinds of trauma), then you will deal with it in time. all that jazz (this is the short short version, but you get the idea).
feelings. yeah, i hate those buggers as much as the next person but they will pass. nothing, good or bad, is permanent.
obviously, simple does not equate easy. i really wish it did.
*i just want you all to know that when i give advice, i know how it can sound. believe me, i'm irritated too.
**if you are happy all the time, please tell me what medication you're on....
Friday, November 5, 2010
raise your hand!
who here has heard of mama gena?
nobody? maybe shannon has because we hang out with the same group of people. mama gena is a woman who decided that she was fabulous and has made a living out of telling other women that they're fabulous too.
her main focus surrounds the notion of desire. any kind of desire.
we stifle our desires because most of the time they don't fall in line with what we think we should be doing. men do this as well. i think she even has a book for the dudes.
anyway, i get an email update from her everyday and i thought today's was pretty cool:
"We should banish our custom of deciding what we have is wrong. Surrendering to what you have and trusting that it is what you want now creates an opening for more to rush your way with unimaginable velocity."
- Mama Gena
that really falls in line with the law of attraction. how many things am i blocking because i choose to be disappointed in what i have now? i'm guessing it's a lot.
back to the thank you notes. :) today, as i was getting ready, i remembered how completely in love i am with my mid century dresser. i talk about it a lot on my other blog, but i can't help it. i adore it. it's probably unnatural to love a piece of furniture that much but i don't care. i heart it the most.
it's nice when the university drops the reminder right into my inbox.
it makes it so handy.
nobody? maybe shannon has because we hang out with the same group of people. mama gena is a woman who decided that she was fabulous and has made a living out of telling other women that they're fabulous too.
her main focus surrounds the notion of desire. any kind of desire.
we stifle our desires because most of the time they don't fall in line with what we think we should be doing. men do this as well. i think she even has a book for the dudes.
anyway, i get an email update from her everyday and i thought today's was pretty cool:
"We should banish our custom of deciding what we have is wrong. Surrendering to what you have and trusting that it is what you want now creates an opening for more to rush your way with unimaginable velocity."
- Mama Gena
that really falls in line with the law of attraction. how many things am i blocking because i choose to be disappointed in what i have now? i'm guessing it's a lot.
back to the thank you notes. :) today, as i was getting ready, i remembered how completely in love i am with my mid century dresser. i talk about it a lot on my other blog, but i can't help it. i adore it. it's probably unnatural to love a piece of furniture that much but i don't care. i heart it the most.
it's nice when the university drops the reminder right into my inbox.
it makes it so handy.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
It's difficult to try to be what you are not. Being what you are doesn't require any effort. When you become wise, you accept yourself the way you are, and the complete acceptance of yourself becomes the complete acceptance of everyone else. ~ don Miguel Ruiz
Peru: The Dream of The Condor Sacred Valley Nov 22~Nov 29, 2010
such a simple concept. one that has always been true. but if you were raised like i was, to strive to "be better" it's easy to get caught up with the things you seemingly do or do not have.
how many of those things are even real?
my favorite part of this idea is the part that suggests that being yourself takes no effort. because really, do we have a choice? sure we put on different masks, play different roles, but it's always me at the end of the day. who else better to play me than me?
i'm just sayin'.
Peru: The Dream of The Condor Sacred Valley Nov 22~Nov 29, 2010
such a simple concept. one that has always been true. but if you were raised like i was, to strive to "be better" it's easy to get caught up with the things you seemingly do or do not have.
how many of those things are even real?
my favorite part of this idea is the part that suggests that being yourself takes no effort. because really, do we have a choice? sure we put on different masks, play different roles, but it's always me at the end of the day. who else better to play me than me?
i'm just sayin'.
my fortune cookie on facebook told me today that i offer help and and advice freely.
first off, that's NOT a fortune. a fortune is a prediction. something that is going to happen. if i had opened it and it said, "tonight you are going to shannon's," i would have been astonished! because that's true! sadly, it would also be something that i already knew, but still...it's more of a fortune that telling me that i like to give advice.
but let me tell ya. i do! i DO like giving advice. sometimes, and this is something that i really struggle not to do, i offer it when nobody has asked for it.
so i'm sorry. if i've ever done that to you, please accept my apology. most of the time i really try to just listen and wait for someone to ask for my help. sometimes i just can't help it and i'm compelled to put my two cents in.
with regards to the university, i've been utilising the thank you notes more than ever this fall.
as i and my siblings (each of us have been presented with 3 different sets of challenges) attempt to make our way through the next 6 months, i'm finding it more and more necessary to simply just say thank you for everything.
not the challenges. i could do without those. and i'm sure we've all had enough "character building" experiences to last a lifetime.
but i am grateful for my family. it's small. we're not as close as i'd like. but they're there for me if i need them.
i am so grateful for my friends. a few in particular who know about my challenges and don't judge me. who i can tell my "crazy" thoughts to and they don't run away thinkin' i'm nuts.
i'm not nuts.
i'm just challenged. :)
these random thoughts have brought about this 'thank-you' note:
dear university,
today i am so grateful for the people that have been strategically placed in my life. my mom, my brother and sister, and my friends who know what a crazypants i can be and still hang out with me. thank you for their understanding and guidance. and i promise not to offer any of them advice unless they ask for it.
love,
kami
first off, that's NOT a fortune. a fortune is a prediction. something that is going to happen. if i had opened it and it said, "tonight you are going to shannon's," i would have been astonished! because that's true! sadly, it would also be something that i already knew, but still...it's more of a fortune that telling me that i like to give advice.
but let me tell ya. i do! i DO like giving advice. sometimes, and this is something that i really struggle not to do, i offer it when nobody has asked for it.
so i'm sorry. if i've ever done that to you, please accept my apology. most of the time i really try to just listen and wait for someone to ask for my help. sometimes i just can't help it and i'm compelled to put my two cents in.
with regards to the university, i've been utilising the thank you notes more than ever this fall.
as i and my siblings (each of us have been presented with 3 different sets of challenges) attempt to make our way through the next 6 months, i'm finding it more and more necessary to simply just say thank you for everything.
not the challenges. i could do without those. and i'm sure we've all had enough "character building" experiences to last a lifetime.
but i am grateful for my family. it's small. we're not as close as i'd like. but they're there for me if i need them.
i am so grateful for my friends. a few in particular who know about my challenges and don't judge me. who i can tell my "crazy" thoughts to and they don't run away thinkin' i'm nuts.
i'm not nuts.
i'm just challenged. :)
these random thoughts have brought about this 'thank-you' note:
dear university,
today i am so grateful for the people that have been strategically placed in my life. my mom, my brother and sister, and my friends who know what a crazypants i can be and still hang out with me. thank you for their understanding and guidance. and i promise not to offer any of them advice unless they ask for it.
love,
kami
Thursday, October 7, 2010
am i right or am i right?
so much angst in the world today. not that this is different from any other time...
in light of the troubles with the LDS church and the issues of homosexuality, i've found myself getting caught up in the negativity that is being spewed from both sides.
i've come to the conclusion (with the help of an excellent email conversation with one of my bff's) that this problem really isn't even about being gay or mormon. or being a gay mormon.
my observations is that it's about the need to be right.
the funny thing is, is that both sides are right. if i believe something, then it makes it true to me. so i'm right, right? if you believe something, then that makes this true for you, which in turn makes you right as well. right? if our perception is our reality, then there is no "wrong". there is just "different." there is your truth, my truth, his truth, her truth, along with the other billions of people on the planet. all are right. wrong doesn't exist.
i've fallen into that trap so many times. it's easy to do when you feel so strongly about something. it's easy to send a mean email, or leave a heated voicemail message, or stage a protest when we feel as though we're not being heard. we get offended (due to having our feelings hurt) and react rather than meeting our feelings with understanding. choosing our words and actions a little more carefully and with a touch more thoughtfulness could really alleviate some the issues of today (and yesterday. as i've also discovered, most men still believe it's 1950 and they get to call me sweetheart and stare at my chest).
takes me back to the 4 agreements.
be impeccable with your word. tell the truth and be kind about it.
don't take anything personally. nothing that is going on with others is about you.
don't make assumptions: always, ALWAYS get more information. how many times have i said something without knowing everything and then i look like an idiot? more than i care to admit....
always do your best. just keep trying.
and then the new 5th agreement, which happens to be the one i think we struggle with the most:
be skeptical of everything but learn to listen. keep in mind, that being skeptical does not mean that you don't give anything a chance. my interpretation of that is to mindful that there may be a different way of approaching an idea or a problem. and learning to listen, i think speaks for itself.
and it just so happens, that this was don miguel's quote for today, 10/7/10:
Everything I believe about myself is just a story. In my story, everything is about me, and it has to be that way because I am the center of my perception. The story is told from my point of view.~don Miguel Ruiz
what a cool statement. i see everything from my own eyes, i have no way of seeing what others see. so how presumptuous is it of me to assume that i know what others think or feel? or need for that matter? i'm especially relieved when i remember that i am only responsible for myself. along with learning to listen, this is important to remember particularly when you're dealing with those who believe differently.
with regards to the church/homosexuality debate, i certainly have my own opinions. mainly, let people enjoy their civil liberties, deal with their own "eternal salvation," and support every human in his/her own pursuit of happiness. you didn't think that you'd get through a whole post without me stating my opinion, did you? ha!
but i know that people don't agree with me. this is fine. but do we have to be so mean and hateful when expressing our beliefs/opinions? i talk for a living, i know that there are a million different ways of presenting one piece of information. i think these different points of view can exist while we all live peacefully together. not just in regards to homosexuality and religion, but with everything.
but when will people choose to do this?
you can find lots of 'feel good' stuff on don miguel ruiz's website. i highly suggest that everyone check it out. i certainly like to feel good! :)
sendin' love.
in light of the troubles with the LDS church and the issues of homosexuality, i've found myself getting caught up in the negativity that is being spewed from both sides.
i've come to the conclusion (with the help of an excellent email conversation with one of my bff's) that this problem really isn't even about being gay or mormon. or being a gay mormon.
my observations is that it's about the need to be right.
the funny thing is, is that both sides are right. if i believe something, then it makes it true to me. so i'm right, right? if you believe something, then that makes this true for you, which in turn makes you right as well. right? if our perception is our reality, then there is no "wrong". there is just "different." there is your truth, my truth, his truth, her truth, along with the other billions of people on the planet. all are right. wrong doesn't exist.
i've fallen into that trap so many times. it's easy to do when you feel so strongly about something. it's easy to send a mean email, or leave a heated voicemail message, or stage a protest when we feel as though we're not being heard. we get offended (due to having our feelings hurt) and react rather than meeting our feelings with understanding. choosing our words and actions a little more carefully and with a touch more thoughtfulness could really alleviate some the issues of today (and yesterday. as i've also discovered, most men still believe it's 1950 and they get to call me sweetheart and stare at my chest).
takes me back to the 4 agreements.
be impeccable with your word. tell the truth and be kind about it.
don't take anything personally. nothing that is going on with others is about you.
don't make assumptions: always, ALWAYS get more information. how many times have i said something without knowing everything and then i look like an idiot? more than i care to admit....
always do your best. just keep trying.
and then the new 5th agreement, which happens to be the one i think we struggle with the most:
be skeptical of everything but learn to listen. keep in mind, that being skeptical does not mean that you don't give anything a chance. my interpretation of that is to mindful that there may be a different way of approaching an idea or a problem. and learning to listen, i think speaks for itself.
and it just so happens, that this was don miguel's quote for today, 10/7/10:
Everything I believe about myself is just a story. In my story, everything is about me, and it has to be that way because I am the center of my perception. The story is told from my point of view.~don Miguel Ruiz
what a cool statement. i see everything from my own eyes, i have no way of seeing what others see. so how presumptuous is it of me to assume that i know what others think or feel? or need for that matter? i'm especially relieved when i remember that i am only responsible for myself. along with learning to listen, this is important to remember particularly when you're dealing with those who believe differently.
with regards to the church/homosexuality debate, i certainly have my own opinions. mainly, let people enjoy their civil liberties, deal with their own "eternal salvation," and support every human in his/her own pursuit of happiness. you didn't think that you'd get through a whole post without me stating my opinion, did you? ha!
but i know that people don't agree with me. this is fine. but do we have to be so mean and hateful when expressing our beliefs/opinions? i talk for a living, i know that there are a million different ways of presenting one piece of information. i think these different points of view can exist while we all live peacefully together. not just in regards to homosexuality and religion, but with everything.
but when will people choose to do this?
you can find lots of 'feel good' stuff on don miguel ruiz's website. i highly suggest that everyone check it out. i certainly like to feel good! :)
sendin' love.
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