"I've been thinking my BRAINS out!"

This has got to be one of my most very favorite mom quotes EVER.  

Of. All. Time. 

She says stuff like this all the time.  It's full of humor and wisdom and it's rarely on purpose...the funniness, not the wisdom.

The wisdom is always intentional. :)

This 'mom' quote comes to me when I have a problem I can't solve.  When I have one of those buggers that just won't give me any peace whatsoever. 

Situations in life often bring me to that place. That place of "what the hell is going on?"  And "why for the love of all that is holy do people not see this the way I do?" 

These are technical terms.  Didn't you know that all therapisty terms have the swears in them? They do.  The DSM IV is just code for "how to figure out what the eff is wrong with everyone." They just don't tell you that. 

In a handy little update today, don Miguel (are we on a first name basis yet?) Ruiz said this:

In a relationship, there are two dreamers, with two different dreams.  You need to accept the differences that exist between two dreamers; you need to respect each other's dream. 

**In the book "The Four Agreements," he talks about life being a dream because most of what we see and believe isn't real. It's been clouded by others passing on information/beliefs to us without our knowledge and consent. If you haven't read it, it's awesome. And short. I'm not a reader and I could read it over and over again. **

Oooookayyyy....but what if i think the other dreamer's dream...is ....well, stupid?  What if I think my way is better?

*sigh*

I'm going to admit something.  I think that things I don't like are dumb.  Sometimes I think things are dumb just because they're not the way *I* would have done them.

There, I said it. 

Am I the only one who feels like that?  I believe it's mainly due to lack of understanding. So I try to be mindful and not judge someone and their "dream" but sometimes...I struggle. 

Then today, while on my lunch break, as I was walking out of PetCo with a bag of cat food under one arm and a sack of newly purchased yarn in the other....I stopped right in my tracks.

How lame is that visual?  Really? This is my life? 

Yup.

I'm willing to bet that there is someone out there who thinks my life is dumb.  I am a cat lady; the transition is almost complete.  I need more cats.  Pretty soon I'll resemble Eleanor Abernathy. 

Read her bio, it's riveting.  

What was I saying? 

Oh yeah, people and their dreams...

What the don says is true.  It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you're referring to. Whoever is involved has an idea or a vision of how things should look or play out (they probably think their way is also the best way).

This judgement (that I get stuck in all the time) leads to misunderstandings, arguments, and resentments.  It's like the story when two people are driving down the street and the chick goes, "are you hungry" and the dude goes, "no" and keeps driving. By the time they're at their destination, the woman is pissed because she was hungry and the guy was supposed to know that.

• The parent who forces the little kid to dress a certain way: different visions.

• The couple who say they're not going to spend any money for Christmas and then one does and it pisses the other off: different visions.

• The boss who wants things a certain way yet you're convinced that you can save time and money by doing it your way: different visions.

What's missing?

Understanding. 

Lack of understanding -> increased resentment -> What?

Acting out.

How often do we do things in spite of others because we know they don't agree?  Because we know our way is the best way?

So, let me 'splain. No, there's too much. Let me sum up:

• Point numero uno: I have a vision. But nobody knows that unless I tell them.

• B: I don't know what your vision is unless you speak up.

• 3rd: Our respective visions may be totally different.  But that doesn't make one better than the other. 

• And lastly, how often do we insist that others understand us (without questioning), all while not putting forth any effort to understand others? I'd venture it's a lot. 

Random thought:  Sometimes what is actually best for us is not best for the other in the relationship.  Sometimes the best solution is to not be in the relationship anymore. Some self reflection and possibly a therapy session or two with a trusted friend or therapist can help you tell which is what and what not.  Heaven knows that most of us have stayed in relationships (professional, personal, whatever) for longer than we should have.  Perhaps we thought we were being unreasonable or that understanding would come in time. Perhaps we thought that that person would come around to our way of thinking. Sometimes, the dreams are just too different to be compatible.  There's nothing wrong with that either. Just thought I'd throw that out there. 

Lil' somethin' to think about there...

Now....how to make people understand my love of yarn....and how in the hell do I learn to appreciate *everything I think is lame*??

Side note: my bff's dad is going in for surgery tomorrow. Sending love and good thoughts!

Like Debbie in the movie "Knocked up," we're going to be positive positive positive!

But I don't suggest that anyone drink 3 red bulls in 15 minutes...