Wax on, wax off....

Little therapist tidbit for ya's. 

About this time of year in 2010, I was thinking about looking for a new job.  I enjoyed my old one but I needed more security. The university knew I'd need some assurance that I was making the right decision and in group one night, I received it.

If you know therapists, you know we're all about experiential learning and conducting activities that make our clients think a little deeper than they're used to.  

If you know anything about me, you know that Dave Matthews is one of my very favorite musicians.

So, I naturally look for ways to combine the two. 

One of the simplest activities is to have people choose a piece of music and share it with the group. They talk about their decision making process, why the music is important, why the lyrics are important, what it reminds them of, and most importantly, how it makes them feel. 

'Feeling' is almost a cuss word sometimes.

Sometimes I participate, other times I do not.  It depends on how many actually remember to bring their assignment.  If someone forgets, I'd always have one for a back up.

In this particular case, I chose the song "Save Me," by the one and only Mr. David J. Matthews.

Driving through the desert I met a man
Who told me of his crazy plan
He’d been walking there for 20 days
He was gonna walk on for 20 more
I said, “How ‘bout a drink or a bite to eat”
He said, “No, my faith is all I need”
So then, save me, save me
Mister walking man, if you can

You don’t need to prove a thing to me
Just give me faith make me believe
C’mon save me, save me
Mister walking man, if you can
C’mon save me, save me
I said, “Stranger if you please”
Save me, save me
Stranger if you please
Or am I too far gone?
I said, “to get back home”

How ‘bout you take a ride with me
We could kill some time, shoot the breeze
He said, “every whispering wind and second counts”
Oh, maybe if you walk but you should drive around

Save me, save me
Mister walking man, if you can
C’mon save me, save me
I said, “stranger, if you please”
Save me, save me
Stranger, if you please
Or am I too far gone?
To get back home

I don’t need you to stop the sunshine, no
I don’t need you to turn water into wine, no
I don’t need you to, to fly
I’m just asking you to save me

(You might try savin' yourself)
I'm gonna save me
(You might try savin' yourself)
I swear those lips shine
(You might try savin' yourself)
As it, the, the moon it shines
(You might try savin' yourself)
Why don't you, save me
(You might try savin' yourself)
Come on and save me
(You might try savin' yourself)
Oh, oh, oh, oh
(You might try savin’ yourself)
Why don’t ya save me
(You might try savin’ yourself)
Why don’t ya save me
Save me, save me

It's a catchy tune.  It's upbeat, a tad jazzy, and it has some unexpected surprises.  I do a mean air...drummer...to it.  That'd work better if it was air guitar....air drummer?

 

I had an idea of the points I wanted to make. Have faith, or something along those lines.

But I never thought they'd interpret it the way they did. 

After it was over and we got through the "crickets chirping" phase of group, it was a young guy who said something like, "That kind of reminds me of you. You try to save us but maybe it's time for us to save ourselves." 

*These are not his exact words. But because he was giving an observation about me, I'm free to share it. Another observation about me: one time someone chose me to represent their "snotty older sister" in a family group.  What does THAT say about me eh?*

What the what now? I probably did a double take, like the ones you see in cartoons.

He had heard something even I had missed.  I was trying to relate it to them but I never thought they'd relate it to me. 

As a therapist, we are very likely to lose ourselves in the problems of our clients, often forgetting to find balance and peace in our own lives. The funny thing is that the client doesn't expect that level of "commitment." The client expects a healthy and well rounded person to assist them in whatever they're trying to learn or do. I was not taking care of myself. I was immersing myself in the problems of others.

Basically, what he did, was give me permission to leave.

The student becomes the teacher. :)




And just for fun: