I feel that the moment you adopt a sense of caring for others, it brings you inner strength. Inner strength brings inner tranquility, greater self-confidence. Because of such attitudes, even when things going on around you seem hostile and negative, you can still sustain your peace of mind.
--Dalai Lama
i think i've mentioned (a time or two) that i'm a therapist. currently, i'm not working as a therapist. because for a while there i was suffering from something called campassion fatigue. basically it means that someone (a therapist) begins to care too much, they get over-loaded, and then they start to not care about those around them. or about anything really. i didn't care about anything. as a social worker (my current job title), i'm lucky to get paid to care.
**i am so fortunate to have the job i have now.
the university knew what it was doing.**
so caring is kiiiiiiind of important. but i think we've all had those moments where we think "but i don't care about this." anyone who has met me knows that this happens often.
i don't care about a lot of things.
i know how to cook but i don't care to.
i know how to make my bed every day, but i don't care to.
i get pissed about things i hear on the news but i don't care enough to do anything about it.
there are many things that i will be paying others to do for me in the future because i don't care to do them. clean my house, wash my car (okay, i currently do this one).
let's not forget the things i already pay others to do. i live in a condo where i pay fees so someone else has to do the landscaping. others remove my garbage and maintain my building.
i'm really quite spoiled.
i've become, like most people, quite self involved and self serving. because along with all this not caring about stuff, came the ability to not care about some human beings.
i know, that sounds bad. but i really got to the place where i only had energy to care about my own well being. as i'm working my way back, i'm noticing what i was missing out on. and the only way i know to deal with a problem is to acknowledge it, learn, and move on.
what i was lacking was basic human connection. that coupled with a complete disconnect with myself, lead to me really missing out on a huge chunk of time. now as i help people (not in such large doses), i'm beginning to feel more and more of that connection. it's helping me to feel better about what i'm doing and increasing the desire to be available for others.
i still launch into dissatisfaction and annoyance as fast as ever. but i've challenged myself to sit and think about why i'm irritated and to meet that irritation with understanding. most of the time, i'm nervous about the situation or someone i *gasp* care about is being hurt. or someone is just being a big dummy. either way, i figure it out.
what's that you say? i'm not dead inside? who knew!? just kidding. i always knew, i just wasn't paying attention.
what this cute man says about inner tranquility is right for me. giving service, caring about others, connection is what leads us to peace and contentment. that is... if we're doing it thoughtfully and are mindful of our intentions.
i don't know about ya'll, but i could always use some peace and contentment. :)
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