let it go man.

Release the need to be right. When you believe something, you assume you are right. and you may even destroy relationships in order to defend your position.Let go of the need to defend your position.  --don Miguel Ruiz

i have been sick.  like rolling-around-moaning-stumble-to-the-bathroom-cry-when-i-swallow-because-it-hurts-so-bad sick.  

why is this important?  well, because it's given me time to think.  a lot.  i've also made a ton of crafty stuff, messed with my blogs, watched movies, and taken a lot of naps. 

but mostly, i've been thinking. 

i'm thinking about everything. my life, my situation, my relationships, my incredible stubbornness.  mostly, what i may be missing out on because of this stubbornness. 

i know i'm not the only one who's guilty for this intense need to have all the information.   this need for control, this need to be right.  nobody likes to be wrong.  it makes us feel stupid, it makes us feel worthless, and it can feed that "i can't do anything right" attitude that some of us hold. 

but what would happen if we opened our minds to the possibility that there are a million different kinds of right in this world? that our relationships aren't worth sacrificing for the sake of having the last word?

there are a few people (okay, only one person) that i'd like to speak to, mostly to apologize. 

but the problem is that they (this person) won't talk to me.  go figure. 

i can't say i blame them (this person). 

so in case you ever read this, i'm sorry.  i miss you.  i hope one day you'll sit down and have a conversation with me. 

and if not, that's okay too.  just know that i'm available for that.